I was cleaning up my studio tonight, and I came across an old journal. I am not a very good journal keeper, and I have to admit that this journal was no exception. It's got about a dozen or so entries in it, but I haven't written in it for some time. The image at top is a collage from the first page.
I started the journal as part of a project to go to art college, and I think that's possibly part of the reason I didn't keep it up. I think I imagined an audience of art college professors looking at my work, and I couldn't really open up with it. Also, I can be a bit of a perfectionist - not saying that I'm at all perfect, but I tend to put unrealistic demands on myself in some ways. I wanted all the pages to be "perfect" in their own way, so at times I even ripped out pages because I didn't like them, and that is definitely not the point of a journal.
Still, I look at these and think they're not all bad. I was taking a portrait drawing class at the time of doing these, and I used to go to a cafe every night after work and have dinner and draw before I had to go to my class. Hence, the salt and pepper shakers. So, these drawings bring back memories.
I think I was a bit depressed the day I did this one.
I would like to start a journal again, it would give me a break from
doing my books and a bit of an outlet. But, if I start it again, I have to make sure that it's a true reflection of what's going on every day, and not let ideas of perfection get in the way.