From the archives...

I was cleaning up my studio tonight, and I came across an old journal. I am not a very good journal keeper, and I have to admit that this journal was no exception. It's got about a dozen or so entries in it, but I haven't written in it for some time. The image at top is a collage from the first page.

I started the journal as part of a project to go to art college, and I think that's possibly part of the reason I didn't keep it up. I think I imagined an audience of art college professors looking at my work, and I couldn't really open up with it. Also, I can be a bit of a perfectionist - not saying that I'm at all perfect, but I tend to put unrealistic demands on myself in some ways. I wanted all the pages to be "perfect" in their own way, so at times I even ripped out pages because I didn't like them, and that is definitely not the point of a journal.

Still, I look at these and think they're not all bad. I was taking a portrait drawing class at the time of doing these, and I used to go to a cafe every night after work and have dinner and draw before I had to go to my class. Hence, the salt and pepper shakers. So, these drawings bring back memories.

I think I was a bit depressed the day I did this one.

I would like to start a journal again, it would give me a break from
doing my books and a bit of an outlet. But, if I start it again, I have to make sure that it's a true reflection of what's going on every day, and not let ideas of perfection get in the way.


posy press said...

I am the same way...I have dozens of journals that I start, only to abandon soon after. I want to keep them all pretty and perfect as well...but it would probably be so good for me to really keep one, ugliness and all, and like you said, it probably wouldn't even really be ugly in the end. have a good one! amy

Trudi said...

It's kind of funny that we both make books/journals, yet are not big users of them! Maybe that's why I like blogging - journalling without messing up all the pretty white pages!

Veronica TM said...

I can totally relate. I want my pages to be 'good' and miss the point of journaling.
I love buying a journal and love to imagine all the possibilities and then reality hits and all the criticism.
I love your pages!

Hanna said...

your pages are really interesting, and you sure have the potential of being a great visual journal keeper. just try it for a couple of days, and maybe you'll love it like I do. It' so fun to just play and don't care to much of the result. if you don't like it, just paint over it, glue something on top of it - or just turn the page.

Trudi said...

Thanks for your nice comments on my pages! I may try journalling again, I have to start taking the ferry to work, so I will have time to work on it then. I have to get used to drawing in public though - I am not sure if it makes me look mysterious and interesting, or like a complete tosser!